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18-Nov-2016 13:14

During a bathroom break or a trip to the bar, I’ll check my phone, and almost always there is a news alert telling me Donald Trump is attempting to curtail, or has just succeeded in curtailing, the rights of marginalized people in America.It’s an odd thing to then go back to my date and continue the performance of “getting to know you.” I fantasize about walking up to him and saying, “Gotta go!” before heading for the door, but instead, I sit down, and continue talking about which dystopian novel best describes our current predicament, or whatever.Even if I did want to talk about how I feel, I’m not sure I’d be able to articulate it, especially to someone with such a different frame of reference from my own.

Every white man I’ve dated has, sometimes consciously and sometimes not, asked me to explain to them some aspect of blackness.

But the less work I have to do to make him understand how I feel, the better chance I have of getting through the next four years with my head still on.

.”I was talking to my friend, Kim, as we sipped cocktails at a bar in Hollywood. The loss was traumatic, but it only took a month to realize that not owning a vehicle is awesome.

In the past, I’d have sought that comfort out in a white man, but that night I knew it wouldn’t be enough.

It’s not that I don’t think white people are anxious; two months into Trump’s presidency, most of the white people in my life are activated.

Every white man I’ve dated has, sometimes consciously and sometimes not, asked me to explain to them some aspect of blackness.But the less work I have to do to make him understand how I feel, the better chance I have of getting through the next four years with my head still on..”I was talking to my friend, Kim, as we sipped cocktails at a bar in Hollywood. The loss was traumatic, but it only took a month to realize that not owning a vehicle is awesome.In the past, I’d have sought that comfort out in a white man, but that night I knew it wouldn’t be enough.It’s not that I don’t think white people are anxious; two months into Trump’s presidency, most of the white people in my life are activated.In every relationship I have with a white man, there comes a moment when they come to understand a simple fact of my life: that racism is an intimate part of my daily existence.